The starting anew?

Wow it has been a long time since I have been on here. So I am sitting here with insomnia and have lots to update on. Over the past year I have had biopsies done because of an enlarged uterus and cysts on my ovaries. This past April 25th I had a hysterectomy. We had tried hormone therapy which didn't do anything, but aggravate the situation so that was the last resort. The only thing I regret about it is the fact that there is no fast forward button to recovery and the bills still need to get paid. Hubby is still in California and I told him to just worry about his bills out there and the mortgage while I take care of everything here. Unfortunately there is no way of me getting any extra money from anywhere unless the money fairy decides to visit. I have used up all of my paid time off and am still worrying about how to pay for June's bills. Ugh!  On a better note I am now the happy grandma (at 37) of 6 week old little Viktor Odin. I never thought I would love anyone as much as I love my kids and then this little one stole my heart! He was visiting last weekend and my daughter (auntie gina) was holding him and he was content. Then I decided it was my turn and the little monster decides its time to poop! WTH? All I could do was laugh.

Ugh

I finally found a job that is feasible to get the bills paid while he is gone on this stupid ass adventure of a new job which he thinks is a good career move. I on the other hand don't think so. He doesn't realize that it will be harder for him to start over there because of not only the area, but the cost of living. When he finally moves there next week he will learn really fast. He lived in San Diego before, but San Diego and Los Angeles are two different places entirely and that was almost 7 years ago. I also think he got suckered big time. I actually know people who are doing the same thing he is and started out at $30,000 more than what they are offering him. I told him so and his answer was, "But I am pretty much starting over at a new company." I just looked at him shook my head and walked off. I KNOW for a fact that he could have gotten at least that if he pressured them enough, but he seems to know it all these days. 

Lot's of Talking

So since the news came that he is going to take this job in Los Angeles we have been doing a lot of talking.  I told him the reason I felt the way I do is because I know he is capable of getting something better, but he being male is only seeing the logical short term. We need the money in order to keep up with the bills. I want to keep the family in one spot, but my son moves out in about a year and a half after he graduates because he wants to join the military and maybe a move to a different state will be good. I am staying here in Arizona until that time, but I am going to miss this man so much my heart already hurts. He on the other hand has taken to the bottle to stop his feelings and I hate that even more. I am also looking for a job with more hours even though it will be tougher on me as far as school is concerned. I need to make sure all of the bills are paid here and that kids and dogs are fed and taken care of as well. I am just praying that something gives on my end so I can do that. Putting out resumes and not receiving any feedback is hard. I even had someone revamp it for me, but it still is not working. UGH!

A New Year

I am starting this off with a quote I read that is totally what a New Year is about.

"We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day."

I had a great time with my kids even though they go back today. My son to Virginia with his dad and my daughter (nicknamed heathen child) who is almost 14 going back to grandma.  I am sad to see them go, but know that he is spoiled by his dad and almost a man at 17 and she needs the "happy slap of God" as my sister puts it from my mom while being a little monster of a teenager.  She will most likely be back here next year for the school year, but I told her a lot has to change because I refuse to fight with her and her attitude anymore. 

All in all the holidays were good even though the money was tight.  It gave use more time to be together as a family and less time being distracted with other things.